Funny Jokes For Adults
Copyright Source:
Yueke
Wed, May 15, 2024
PHOTO: Yueke
Our selection of humorous jokes for grownups will help you to unleash your inner comic! These jokes were written with adults in mind, but laughter knows no age restrictions. This collection offers a fantastic blend of humor that will have you rolling in the aisles, from witty punchlines to hilarious anecdotes. So prepare for some well-earned laughing as we provide a hand-picked collection of jokes that are sure to make you grin and brighten your day.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What did the clitoris say to the vulva? It’s all good in the hood!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Gum.
What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I’m going in.
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball? She gagged.
What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!
They say makeup sex is the best… Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up
What is Moby Dick’s dad’s name? Papa Boner.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids.
I just had sex in an elevator. It was great on so many levels.
When should condoms be used? Every conceivable occasion.
Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they need a better grip.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What did the clitoris say to the vulva? It’s all good in the hood!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Gum.
What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I’m going in.
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball? She gagged.
What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!
They say makeup sex is the best… Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up
What is Moby Dick’s dad’s name? Papa Boner.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids.
I just had sex in an elevator. It was great on so many levels.
When should condoms be used? Every conceivable occasion.
Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they need a better grip.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
With our carefully curated collection of humorous jokes for teens, get ready for an adventure filled with laughter! Teenage years can be full of ups and downs, as we all know, but a good chuckle can often be the best medicine. As we begin our exploration of a collection of hilarious jokes that will have teenagers in stitches, get ready to giggle, snicker, and guffaw!
Why do rappers need umbrellas?
Fo’ drizzle.
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
Feyoncè.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
If your teen actually enjoys math, then try one of these math puns that will make homework a little more bearable.
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for fresh prints.
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties!
What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
Ouch!
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Want more than just jokes for teens? Don’t miss our collection of one-liners that will make everyone in the room chuckle on command.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
What did the punching bag say to the boxer?
Hit me baby one more time.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.
Have you heard where the word “studying” came from?
Students-dying
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
You look at the second page of Google search results.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent pee.
Teacher: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
Unleash your inner ridiculousness with these dumb and funny jokes that will make everyone laugh.
What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5?
A headache.
Why can’t a T-rex clap their hands?
Because they’re extinct.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me.
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.
Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
What do you get when you mix sulfer, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG.
My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.