Once upon a time, a phone ringing was exciting. Now, it can cause panic, especially for younger people. A Uswitch survey of 2,000 people revealed that a quarter of those aged 18 to 34 never answer calls. Many ignore them, Google the number, or text back instead.
Nearly 70% of respondents prefer texts over calls, and 37% favor voice notes. Over half admitted that an unexpected call makes them fear bad news.
This phone anxiety is common. At 29, I see my peers terrified of phone calls. We rarely use our phones for actual calls anymore. Recently, I texted a friend asking, "Can I call you?" His reply: "That's the most terrifying message you could send." We ended up messaging and sending voice notes instead. When another friend called days later, I let it ring and messaged her back, even though I felt lonely. The anxiety of talking on the phone was too much.
Ali Korsan, 24, says, “Whenever I get a phone call, my heart skips a beat. For Gen-Z and others used to texting, phone calls demand immediate attention.”
Even older generations feel this way. Sharon Olivero-Chapman, 47, never calls without warning. She views unannounced calls as disrespectful, preferring to schedule conversations. For friends and family, she sends a text first.
Our online-first culture has normalized certain communication methods while making others seem outdated. Barbara Santini, a psychologist, notes, “The shift away from phone calls reflects broader societal changes and technology. Instant messaging, video calls, and social media offer convenience and interconnectedness, making them appealing alternatives.”
Texting can be efficient, allowing careful articulation, useful in conflict resolution. However, it can also cause anxiety. Instant messaging, with features like read receipts and “last seen” notifications, can create unnecessary stress.
Sonja Sha-Williams, an Ayurvedic practitioner, points out, “Texting is unemotional and can be misinterpreted. Voice tones convey meaning and foster familiarity, which is lost in text-based communication.”
Misunderstandings are common in texts. A phone call, though nerve-wracking, allows clearer, more direct communication. Santini adds, “Phone conversations offer tone and pacing that convey emotional cues, fostering empathy. Texting lacks these nuances, leading to misinterpretations.”
Avoiding phone calls can harm relationships and increase feelings of isolation. A 2020 study found that online communication can lead to information overload, pushing people away. Santini explains, “Text-based communication provides control and distance, which may ease anxiety but impede developing essential communication skills.”
Reviving phone calls can improve our communication skills and reduce isolation. Start by calling close friends and family to build confidence. Prepare notes if needed, and focus on active listening.
Next time you feel lonely, try calling instead of texting. The conversation might be more fulfilling, and the other person might appreciate the connection too.